Vox Maria
Appearance... it be pretty
   Material Selection: 5 succ for 5 "oooohhh" levels;
   Technique: 5 successes for 10 "aaahhhh" levels;
   Presentation: 8 successes for 24 "WOW!" levels;
   Fine-Tuning: 16 successes for 80 levels of high-fidelity

The silvery voice of Maria conforms, in every way, to the specifications of the Bravissimo vocal output exciter, found online at http://www.geocities.com/mikkelus/gadgets/voxbox.htm

This extended rote takes the form of a dainty torc, tapering from two centimeters wide at its midpoint to half a centimeter at either end. A stunningly intricate pattern of lunargent strands weave a distinct celtic knotwork pattern around a central crystal rosette. The shimmering silver feels faintly warm to the touch, almost as if it possesses a life of its own, and gleams with the luster of moonbeams on newly fallen snow. Behind the central crystal, accessable from the back of the torc, a one centimeter circular cover twists open to offer access to the battery compartment; a standard CR2031 type wafer battery powers the Vox Maria for up to 24 hours of use.

But, as the ad reads, don't let its thin form, elegant lines, and light weight mislead you into mistaking it for just another pretty bauble that provides aesthetic form at the expense of practical function. Patented transverters mix physical motion from the mouth and throat with neural impulses from the speech centers of the brain to create a complex electrical waveform. The Vox then digitally processes, synthesizes, and amplifies the waveform into a normal, natural speaking voice.

Simple and painless to operate, activate the device by slipping it around the neck next to the skin. Calibration typically takes less than 30 seconds and consists of the wearer speaking the age-old phrase "testing, testing, one-two-three, testing, testing, one-two-three". After the device has been calibrated and during a lull in the conversation, (60 seconds or more of vocal inactivity) power-saving circuitry places the Vox amplifier in stand-by mode, to be instantly awakened at the next spoken word. To turn off the Vox and conserve battery life, simply remove it from around the neck.

Keep in mind that the Vox is a sensitive, one-of-a-kind device. Just like your old voice, it is not built to withstand the rigors of a Congressional filibuster, any prolonged activity as a telemarketer, starring in or hosting marathon late-night info-mercials, or screaming out the vocals with a heavy metal rock band.

Remember that making small talk in normal, conversational tones takes a toll on the wafer battery; speaking (or singing) loudly takes a heavy toll on the battery. If you've been yelling out encouragement for several hours and your voice starts to go out... chances are, it's because your Vox needs a rest... and probably a new battery, too.

And, yes, the Vox does need to rest. It's a good idea to take the Vox off at least a few hours every day to avoid loss of voice; this gives the Vox a chance to rest and reinitialize.

Finally, the estimated operating life of the transverter is one year of near-continuous use. Actual life of the Vox may differ.

How it works: Medical technology, according to the manufacturer. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!