While everyone strives to cool in an appropriate measure, too much of a good
thing can put a damper on the festivities. To answer the chilly challenge
presented by the tag-team of Mother Nature and Jack Frost, the traditional
response has been to put on more layers; however, more layers have traditionally
equated to less mobility. Clothing layers designed to allow the wearer to
withstand temperatures of up to 150 degrees below zero tend to leave the wearer
unable to operate the zippers or buttons that allow them to dress or undress
themselves. Standing up after an unplanned tumble may well require the aid of
six companions with a hook and a strong rope.
Too, up until fairly recently, traditional cold-weather materials tended to be
waterproof at the expense of insulation, insulate at the expense of
moisture-proofing, or to provide both, at the expense of relative weight and
bulkiness.
Cold-weather enthisiasts, take note. Get your credit cards handy and get ready
to pack your winter travel-bags with the finest set of cold-weather wear ever
created. With half the bulk and all the sensuous feel of silk, the ACME ColdSuit
combines natural and man-made fibers with the latest cold-weather technology to
wrap you in luxurious warmth, no matter how cold the north wind doth blow.
Each Coldsuit is a one-piece, ankle to wrist form-fitting jumpsuit, crafted from
seamlessly woven Insulon-II for unparalleled strength. No seams also means an
unbroken thermal barrier; as any seasoned arctic explorer can tell you, seams
and folds equate to cold infiltration, and once the cold sets in at -75, it's
almost impossible to get warm again. Triple-baffled, button-down front openings
make dressing a snap yet seal with nary a draft, and a similar triple-baffled
drop-seat allows the intrepid Arctic Explorer to expedite late-night trips
without fear of frostbite.
To further guard against heat loss and cold infiltration in extreme climates,
each ColdSuit also includes a matching extended balaclava, face-mask,
triple-reinforced gloves with abrasion-resistant Kevtex shell, and over-the-calf
cold-weather socks.
Insulon was been developed by a patented process developed from data derived
from the very manufacturers supporting the Internation Science station in the
Antarctic, where they know what cold is all about. Insulon-II reflects an
amazing 95% body heat, and has been tested extensively in real-world conditions
for ten hours at wind-chills up to -125... with no loss of mobility or of
extremities
However, as anyone familiar with cold-weather casualties can tell you, if
hypothermia has set in and the body loses the ability to either regulate or
generate its own heat, all the insulation in the world only delays the
inevitable freezing of bodily tissue. Insulon-II, the latest innovation from the
deep-freeze labs of ACME, combines all the insulating properties of the original
Insulon plus a patanted electroactive thermal transfer to keep the thin layer of
air next to the skin at a constant, comfortable 70 degrees. Field-tested to
deliver four or more hours in normal mode from two standard D-cell batteries,
the ColdSuit also features an emergency defrost mode, tested at up to two hours
at 105 degrees.
Tired of spending a fortune to dry-clean your down, leather, or synthetic fiber
parka? You'll love laundering the ColdSuit: remove the batteries, wash by hand,
and drip-dry.
Available in Classic Black or Arctic White, the ColdSuit is available only from
exclusive ACME Dealers and Distributors. Each ColdSuit comes with the iron-clad
ACME life-time 100% guarantee against defects in materials and workmanship.
How it works:
Matter, Forces, and Prime enhances the silk fibers to give them 95% heat
retention. At extreme cold temperatures, Forces and Prime also add (or subtract)
heat to keep the air layer inside the ColdSuit at a constant comfortable
temperature for 3+ hours with two fresh D-Cell batteries. (Batteries not
included.)
(For normal mode of operation roll 8 dice, diff 5, each success adds 30 minutes
of warmth;
half that for emergency defrost. Also note that batteries which HAVEN'T been
kept warm have a drastically reduced life in arctic environments, if they work
at all!)